here is the second chapter to Eddie/reader....
Im not sure what direction im gonna take this is, but we'll find out...
Some more about your terrible home life, some stuff about Eddie's terrible home-life. EVERYONE'S TERRIBLE HOME LIFE. Some friend-shippy stuff. We'll get to the romance in later chapters....probably....maybe....YE
WARNING: Obviously since this is an Outlast based fanfiction, it's going to have some dark ,gory, disturbing elements such as abuse,bad language,some religious stuff, Non-con(mentioned...not to in depth) stuff like that...
Your palm's were shaking. The sensation of blood rushing to your ears, and the sound like muffled ocean waves were the only sounds you could make sense of. In the back was a light ringing noise. You felt numb, but also had the sensation that all that surrounded you was white, blinding light. Every direction you faced was blinding white.
You closed your eyes, pressed your hands to your ear's to drawn out the oddly deafening sound. Tightened your eye-lids shut, choose to focus hard for another sound. Just as you felt over whelmed, you finally managed to draw your attention to the subtle sound of your heart beating.
The tempo did not match your feelings. You felt rushed, anxious, everything moving quick. Yet the heart beat kept a slow rhythm, calming you to the bone until you were completely and utterly numb.
you felt nothing but the sensation as if something warm were creeping down the middle of your forehead, it felt as if it dripped off your nose,and then-----
You opened your eyes. They snapped open as if you had realize something of grave importance, and then sat up straight in your school desk. Thankfully, no one had noticed you dozed off at your desk. It was your first month of high school, and twice already, your parents had been contacted with concern of your sleeping habit's. The teachers well-intention's of alerting your parents to your lack of sleep we're meant to insure you were well, but back fired greatly when your father slung you over his lap, and whip you with his belt not-so-lovingly do to your dozing in class. You couldnt help but resent your teacher for it.
Throughout the rest of class you felt slightly worked up do to the dream you barely remember. Though it was minutes ago and u had no image of what the hell was going on, somehow it still managed to haunt you. When the teacher dismissed you, You shot up, gathering your things, and bolted out the door. You didnt care if you got in trouble for leaving class so eagerly. You wanted to see Eddie before the day finished.
As you dragged your heavy feet down the hall, you remembered the two year's of school you had spent without Eddie. He had moved up to high school level, and though the building's to the school's were quite literally next to each other, you could never find anytime in the school day to see each other. You had learned to settle for quick chat's after school, while waiting for Eddie's father to pick him up.
You remember the first time you met Eddie's dad. well "met" is a bit to much. More like got a glimpse of him from he car window.It was bright, chilly, Spring type of day. You had known Eddie a couple of month's now. This was the first day you hadnt left before Eddie, and you hadnt thought it would be a big deal. You remember how Eddie barely said good bye, quickly turning and shuffling to the car as soon as he heard his father's horn.
When Eddie opened the door, you managed to make eye contact with the man. You quickly averted your eyes, still shy as you were. Listened to the door of the car click shut, and the sound of gravel crushing under tires. The walk home that day felt heavier and longer than usual.
At last you see Eddie at the far end of the hall, standing by a bench, back facing you. You felt a grin creep up your face, tingling with happiness to finally see your friend after a dreary, dragging day. As you crept closer, you slowed your pace. Deciding you were going to playfully startle the boy. It helped that his mind was buried in a book, but even when you jumped up at him, he merely cocked his head toward you and turned around.
"boo!!" he chuckled as his body turned to you. He was taller, so much taller than when you had met him. He had pushed through puberty, and , in your opinion, already looked like a decent "man". Even though he's still a boy, a mere 16 year's old. His face had become so defined in area's, and his hair seemed to fall perfectly without him trying, and you /swear/ his eye's had become a deeper shade of blue. So beautiful and yet, still had the haunting back drop of torment you had learned to ignore.You watched his pink lips move into and grin and speak.
""Good afternoon to you as well" another chuckle escaping his lips "how was history?"
You huffed in fake frustration "aw man! what do I have to do to scare you? You never even flinch!" you ponder your answer to his second question for a moment, exaggerating a thinking expression "mmm, how would I know, I slept through it..." You smiled up at him cheekily, knowing full well that he /hated/ when you slept through class. His face scrunch into something of dis-approval "____...." You brushed off his concern. You chatted like this for a while, until the next class beckoned you to separate. Conversation consisting of school work, joking about how lazy you can be, joking about Eddie being like your mother. joking, joking, /joking/.
You two still havent spoken up about your families. The abuse had gotten worse. Your father lost his job, had to take up construction work. He also decided upon becoming a pastor, and now, God was everything. God was grace, God was pure. God was a blessing. God is an excuse to drink, God is an excuse to yell and curse. God is an excuse to slap your daughters and beat your wife. God is his /excuse/. He tainted religion for you. You found no comfort in Church or prayer. You found comfort in the only friend you managed to hang onto in these few years. Eddie was all you held too. He was a rock wall you wrapped your delicate finger's around the edge of, but he isnt the sturdiest of walls.
You see it. He tries to hide everything, /every-damn-thing/ as if you cant handle it.
You see the bruises, the crusted blood. You've seen him flinch away from you when you try to press any form of affection on him, even touching his shoulder seemed to scare him away.
You see him disappear for days, and re-appear distant and broken.
When you're far from him and he is unaware of your gaze. You see his face shattered, staring into the distance as if whatever he is staring at caused him his suffering. You see him trembling.
You feel ill.
When you approach him, You watch him cover it up. You watch his trembling lips smile at you. You watch him put on a costume.
You've been watching him for years.
And you /cant handle it/.
You want to tell him. Tell him that you are broken. That you know he's cracking, but you're cracked too. You want to hold him together, like he hold's you together. But he is a rock....and you are sand. You cant build walls of sand, they are unreliable. But you can endlessly keep adding sand to the top of the hill, build it up, make it seem taller than it is.
He is in pain. and you want to take it.
Take it all.
You walked home, deep in thought the whole way there. What was an hour journey suddenly felt as if it took ten minutes.
The night ended shittier than you anticipated. It turned out your teacher had /in-fact/ seen you sleeping in class. And she /did/ take the time to call your parents. Father specifically.
But something out of the ordinary happened that night. Between lashings, between the harsh words between the warm tears and snorting of snot bubbles. you ripped from his grasp. Burning your knee's on the rug, scrambling to your feet.
down the hall, turned the corner. Knocked a picture frame off the wall. You burst through your front door so quickly, you didnt even stop to grab shoes, or a coat. You heard both your parent's calling for you. You didnt dare look back. As if the Boogey man were waiting for your gaze just beyond your back /you did not look back/. You dashed down the side walk. bare-feet scraping glass,pebbles and concrete. You slowed down as you reached the town.
You hunched over your knee's, lungs burning, ear's screaming, eye's stinging and red. You slowly stood up straight, took in your surroundings, and then you see it. Everything slowed down as you peered toward the red box. A telephone booth.
Your burning leg's moved toward the box as if it were a rapid dog you were trying to calm. Your steps were hesitant. When you climbed inside and slowly closed the door, you argued with yourself. Should you do it. Should you....every atom in your body screamed that this was wrong, that you would just be trouble, but your over whelming need to see him broke through louder.
You need him
You dial Eddie's number.
"If I only could,
I'd make a deal with god,
and I'd get him to swap our places.
Be runnin' up that road,
Be runnin' up that hill,
Be runnin' up that building.
If I only could."